Super Gisele - ジゼレ

I'm still here! I'm waiting...

2012-01-05T03:08:00.002-02:00

The years come and goes... 3 years already goes...

Sometimes, I know that you are around me...
You don't say anything, but I feel you looking me...
I know that you feel this conection so stronger between us...
Maybe our lesson in this life, is understand that, we never will lost each other!

It's so difficult...
Sometimes I feel so lonely, but I don't want another person with me!
Maybe I'm crazy... But I choose you one time more!

(My dress in this new year party was RED... coincidences?)

The only thing that you need know is: I'm truly and only YOURS, forever!

I miss you... Yet.

One step closer... one step back...

2011-12-28T23:22:00.001-02:00

Day after day I ask to my self if I'm crazy...

But when my feet seems without floor, the truth appears again...

In this moment I'm broken again...

The truth is there...

Why he can't accept my love?!

I seem a crazy girl just running after some illusion!

But all the time I believe that he feel something... I'm not crazy! I see his eyes six months ago, I felt like some cold sensation inside my body when he looks me so deep in my eyes... I'm not crazy!

Maybe, his hurt inside his heart is some love, or his own love...

I was thinking about my first love, my old love... but I couldn't find!

Because he is like my older love, my first... like an eternity... like always... ever... before and after... no beginning... no end...

I'm not crazy!

I know how much I'm feeling broken, I know how much tears I cried...

In this moment I'm broken, because someone was hurted by him, but she is not me...

I can support everything, but it I can't to support!

I'm sad... upsad! yes.

But I know, I'm not crazy!

I know what I feel.

It's Over?!

2011-10-31T00:42:00.002-02:00

When the light of stars are shining,my mind wonder to the space...

If the wind just blows, go to anyway...

I think about you!

And this sound of your remind is like some acoustic guitar playing!

The sound of your voice, the music of your words, the melodic breath... it's breathing inside me all the time!

the way is getting over...

The time is running...

it's just a little bit and I'll say goodbye!

I need complete this time, cause this life is not eternal...

The death will come soon, but not before complete this way!

Be mine one more time, before this way is over...

The end

2011-10-18T23:16:00.002-02:00

The time pass... pass before my eyes...
And I see my life going to some place that I don't know...

I see the circles completing and journeys going to the end...

I see a eternal love going to the infinite, without hope...

The darkness of night is coming more and more, but I never know if I'll open my eyes again...

A friend going to the death, his girlfriend going to the darkness to the sadness...

Who will chose the right way?! Or everybody will keep this way without hope?!

My hope is going down...

I can't feel the flowers perfume anymore...

I feel that it's a final of way... if you broke my heart again, I don't wanna live anymore!

I can't tell you...

2011-10-13T12:40:00.003-03:00

Today the sky is gray, but the clouds don't cry yet...

It's like my eyes that don't cry this tears like a rain!

The same cry when you goes the first time...

I can't say my word for you, cause you don't read my messages anymore!

This is killing me and I have no straight to keep my way...

Your birthday pass, and couldn't say everything what I wanted!

I wanted to say how I feel, how much I miss you...

I wanted screen "Please, believe me!" "Please, forgive me!"...

I wanted hug you so stronger...

I have no energy to keep my life...

I wake up every morning and think: "I need to keep, I have a objective on my life!"

I have so much things to say for you... I miss our conversations... I miss to read your blog and find a message for me, there... I love your way to send messages!

I have no light in my life, in this moment... I hope to survive.

Why?

2011-09-24T02:09:00.002-03:00

Just spending words to the wind, now I write a new text using the same thoughts...

Waiting a miracle that never come, I cry like a stronger rain in the summer!

My feeling is unbelievably deep and painful!

How I'll speak with you again? I can't accept that it's a ending... sad ending...

My spirit refuse accept the injustice! Where is the truth? That never come to the surface!

Where is the ears to hear this truth?

Why you don't believe me? Why you never told me if you believe or not?

The hardest question to answer is "WHY?"!

Things that you never will read...

2011-08-19T00:46:00.002-03:00

I'm here, just writing... writing things that you never will read!

Cause my feelings, maybe, you never will understand!

I listen the wind singing out side of my window...I really don't what he says...

The cold wind blows and can't stop to sing... what, what means?

The past, come to my heart, and this images are vivid to my eyes...

The wind is the responsible for this sensation?

Everything is coming colder and colder, day by day, over and over again...

I know you don't will read... but if you only knew that you are my inspiration...

How I can write? How I can sing?

The wind keep singing in this cold night... and I still can't understand what means...

Heavy Chest

2011-08-04T02:10:00.002-03:00

Inside me it's like a big and heavy rock...

My chest hurts...

The truth exist?

Where is my hope?...

I really wanna try walk...

I really wanna try to keep in this way...

But how I'll can to do it?!

My legs are tired, my chest is heavy like a rock...

My hands don't move anymore!

Why this way is so difficult?

Why this suffer never end?

Why this peace never come?

Why why why?

The jokes from people that wants me sad are coming to limit of my straight!

They play them dirty games with me and never be tired to do the wickedness!

How much more I need to fight?

Where is the end?!

Where is the justice???

I just will keep with my heart without malice, and don't will judge!

I know that the truth is the light on my life!

Everything will be right in the right time...

When is the right time?

I really don't know...

In this moment, this pain just burn my soul...

Coffee with truth!

2011-08-02T16:32:00.003-03:00

Drinking coffee in this cold time, Trying find answers...

I'm a crazy, I think so...

You told me it, in 2008... Yes! Completely crazy... about you!

I have so much questions without answer...

I'm looking the reality or fantasy!?

My life is a dream, my hope is craziness?

Where is the truth?!

I feel that you think about me!

I feel that you have no sure about your own feeling...

Maybe you wanna know what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling, just trying understand your self!

Perhaps, you just wanna know, if what I say is truth ...

So much questions without answers, too, I think so...

I would know why I need live this life, why I have this connection with you!!

Why I can't cut it???

I try so much times...

I have a feeling of protection,that I don't have with my life,but I have about yours!

You are so far and my only wish is know if you are fine!

Why I feel it?!

When you look my eyes, that day, I couldn't to speak with you... but you look so deep in my eyes!

What you wanted to say?... What you was trying to discovery inside me?!

Sometimes I just wanna listen about your feelings, understand your motives.... and finally, have peace between us!

I give to you my soul, if you say 'yes' to me!

I scream your name inside me every night... So much times I cry, cause I just wanted know that you are in peace with me...

I can't live without you! I can't live without know if you are fine...

My every morning, in this side of the world, I pray for your protection!

What more I can do?!

I want to drink coffee with you,

and speak about this matters...

speak about this questions of life,

that we haven't answers...

Unfair

2011-07-29T11:49:00.003-03:00

After 24 years, I met my father...

In the last weekend, I discovery that he is dying...

Now, after 7 years from this met, he don't will live too much more...

He don't told me, but I discovery! I always discovery everything!

He don't want to tell me, cause he knows how much I'll be sad if I know... But I know!

He was in the hospital 45 days, but when I call, he don't attended!

When I ask after, he says that about some trip...

I don't will tell him that I know...

But I know that he is a fighter, too!

I live every separation in this life!

Maybe it's my mission, now... who will knows?!

If you believe in past lifes, maybe you can believe me...

But I made a regression once, and I see a big door in fire! I knew that someone beloved was inside there... The only thought was: "He is near, but I can't reach him!"

Maybe it's the motive for so big distances from people that I love...

But the worse feeling, is not from death!

It's when a beloved someone hates you, and you can't understand why...

I hope don't die before have peace...

The peace after death, it's just when your mission is complete!

2011-07-25T20:37:00.002-03:00

When I look to sky,

and I see the stars,

It's like I listen a beautiful sound of your heart...

When I see again,

I remeber just your hand

holding my hand...

So softly I keep my breath

and the internal sign

is remember your eyes... again.

Oh, I want hold your hand...

Oh, I want to see you again!

Crazy, crazy heart!

2011-07-23T23:27:00.002-03:00

3 Years ago, I don't believed in love.

...Today I'm crazy from my own religion: Love!

and god is a prince that have wind's head!

He is more beautiful than a garden of flowers...

He is more delicate than fresh air on the morning...

He shine more than Sun to my eyes...

He is the storm when the air is warm on my face!

I can move the world for him!

I can change everything on my life, just for him!

Nothing for me is so important than his smile every morning!

Nothing is so highest than his dreams in the night!

When the rain is falling down, I remember when I say goodbye...

When I listen samba, I remember my heart with his kiss...

I remember his heart beat in that night...

In this solemn moment, I offer my humble love, to you my divine Prince!

Please accept, I know that is simple, but is all that I have!

I try to stole the stars and give you, like a gift... But the Sun just says me, that a gift needs be a thing of mine...

So, my Heart I'll give you! Please don't broke, it's fragile...

Please accept my life, let me be TRULY YOURS!

No hope

2011-07-21T22:29:00.003-03:00

In this moment, I'm here, looking to this netbook, just thinking about hope...

No hope, I think so...

I remember my past like a inverse movie...

A question make me awake, without peace on my heart!

I can leave everything for you, my prince! Just tell me what I need to do!

How I can proof subjective things? How I can proof something that I feel?

For so long time, my only wish was see you again... but when I see, I ask to myself, "when was the last time?" but the answer was so simple, I felt like, always you was with me... So weird!

I couldn't to speak a little thing, that make me so hurted, but I was happy cause I saw you again!!

But now, I have no hope, cause a little question I have and you never answer me!

Why you hate me so much??

I really deserve it? If I deserve, tell me! I wanna be a better person! I wanna change!

I wanna know the line between your culture and your personality...

I wanna understand your thoughts!

I wanna know everything about you and make my best to make you happy!

I will move the world if is necessary, but please, believe me, I really love you!

The worse thing that I have on my life, is the pain from your silence...

2011-07-20T16:44:00.004-03:00

Today is raining a lot... yesterday was fine, but I recused go out of house! I had a lot of things to do and my two daughters was here...

This time make me think about how much times I lost opportunities...

In this quiet time, (cause I'm alone), I need to express my thoughts!

I just write and hope that someone read...

How express the feeling to be alone?

In this moment, I'm alone but not sad! A little I choose be alone!

I was not happy 4 years ago and I understood that I was alone all the time!

3 years ago, I finally understood that I'll be alone forever, I never will have someone that have the same idea...

In that same time, I discovery that someone was the same conclusion about the life... "we are all alone"!

Now, I discovery that we are alone if you are blind or deaf for too much more highest things...

Everything connected! But unfortunately, for the majority of people it's craziness!

I try to see the spiritual things, I try to see another side of this life... But sometimes, I just feel sad and to lonely...

To learn drink coffee alone was the most worse thing that I needed to learn!

To assume my loneliness was too difficult! ...and it still is!

If I have a good romance with someone?

I still pray for this!

I consider the life a horrible passage... Cause this, I try see a mean for this lonely life!

I'm not depressive, not sad... I just haven't answers to simple questions!

And I'm not speaking about the high reasons to the life, or what is the life's origin!

I'm speaking about his feelings... so, maybe his feelings are to much more complex than Universe!

Well... in this quiet time I just wait the sun go to shine him... and the moon come to my window...

...oh no! it's raining! I forgot it!

The final was so romantic... it's a shame!

Sound

2011-07-17T13:21:00.003-03:00

Sometimes I just think about my life and try to discovery my internal sounds...

My breath, my every single heart beat... how much more deep I go, more and more I find the conections...

Conections with the world, the earth, people, creatures, elements... and him.

The 2 last nights I just dreamed with death... my channels seems opened in this time...

Maybe for you, it's scary... For me, it's just a new internal sound!

I learned to respect this sounds, don't be afraid and just listen...

Everything is sound!

And the sound of his voice on my head is the best!

I love his voice... I love the voice of his soul... seems weird, but sometimes I have the real sensation that I'm listening his voice... This happen before I awake from my sleep...

Usually he is speaking something for me... that after he really do!

I can't understand this mental conection... I can't understand this sounds... so... I respect this sounds! Never try to be rational, I just accept!

This make my life to much more easy!

This sounds make me understand about love, about sadness, about my self, about anothers beings in this infinite universe...

Every day I try to dicovery more and more internal sounds... It's internal, cause I find inside me, as like a echo or a reverberation from outside... from this eternal universe of sounds... of beings... of souls...

Every soul has a sound, and I wanna listen all!

Everything is conected! Every frequencies of energy has a sound... And my sound can be music, if someone can synchronize the frequency with mine...

Everything is energy! Every energy is a frequency... every frequency can be the wave of sound!

Everything is music!

Can you listen?

Alone

2011-07-16T01:32:00.002-03:00

I made everything that I could!

What more I can to do?...

In this moment, just thinking about my life, just thinking how much time I waited to see his eyes again...

What more I can to do?

I can't be free from this feeling... I can't be free from this conection...

I just keep my way, without idea about how my heart will be hurted... how much time?

Why he don't give me the chance to say how I feel?

Why he don't believe me??

What more need to do?

I fight, and never give up... never surrended to pain!

Never was so stronger than now... cause I'm stand up... yet!

I really don't know how I could to hold this pain and don't cry!

I really don't know, yet!

What more I can to do?... I just wait and hope to my pray become attended!

What more I can to do?

Just pray, I think so...

pain

2011-05-05T02:06:00.002-03:00

I have no words to say how much I'm sad...
I never have!

Maybe, my mission is complete!

Now, you are happy and I'm sad!

I desirve so much more, because I worked!
I desirve so much more...
you never will understand me!

I said to the heavens that I don't want anymore!
This horrible life that just make me suffer sice my born!

I really desirve more!

my strenght is falling down!...

2011-04-09T00:53:00.000-03:00

I would his companion in this moment...
I this time, I try dont't think that if he come here, he never speak to
me...

I just try don't suffer!

In this whole day I just think about how I try meet him and how much he run from me...
My only question is 'why?'!!

I don't wanna suffer anymore, but how I can make me free from this feeling?!

So much times I try and I can't!
How much times? I don't know...

I'm crazy? Maybe...

I suffer!
I suffer if I stay, I suffer if I run, I suffer anyway...

It's not in my hands, now... No anymore!

I try, I fight, I beg...

Now, just he can decide!

I hope he decide accept me and cut this suffer!

I'll Always love you!

2011-02-13T15:16:00.001-02:00

Valentine's day... Alone!

He don't call me, don't tell me, don't say me if love me or hate me!

My cat is my companion today!

Completely alone... The kids is in vacations yet... Just my cat and my cup of coffe is here... It's my only friends today!

I wanna him here!
Just for speak, drink coffee or watch a movie...

I just wanna kiss his face again!

If he only knew that I still love him like the first time... No no... To much more than first time!

I still dream every night, thinking how much I love him!
I can't forget his eyes looking mines...

I can't forget his face when he look to me the first time!

The only thing that I still want, it's look in his eyes and say:

"I still love you and I'll always love you!"

Days...

2011-02-05T14:29:00.001-02:00

Some days, I just can't keep pretending! Pretending that nothing happens!

Some days, I can't stop cry... And my tears nobody can see or understand...

Some days, the only thing that I can remember is his name, his voice, his words...

Some days, I just can't stop feel this hard pain inside my chest! Like a fire without light that burn deeply inside me...

Some days, I can't forget that I lost him and he don't want listen my apology...

Some days, I'm tired and sleepy because I don't sleep the last night, cause I was crying...

Some days, I just need him with me, forever!

Just Me

2011-01-27T02:48:00.000-02:00

Now, like in old times, when I made this blog, it's just me!

When I made tthis blog, I was back to reality, without e-mails, without messages by cellphone from somebody was just one more...

In the same time I knew my friend... Old friend...
He became my wind to me... My air, my sweet dream, my prince, my only one!

Today, I just lost!
Maybe he don't think about me to much time ago... But my illusions blinded me!

Today, I just need say goodbye... But it's so difficult...

Every day pass by me so slowly without him!
My coffee is so sad, my music have no inspiration... It's like falling down in the deep darkness!

Maybe I'm crazy! Nothing is like before... Nothing is the same!

Why hurts so much? Why?!
Why I cry night and day because he is not here, if in 2 years he was not here?
Why is so difficult say goodbye?!

I'm starting a new job, in a hospital... Like before everything, like 2 years ago, when I knew him!

My mind still dream night and day for him, like in the first time! My heart still beat so fast for him, like when I knew him!

I feel so guity! So bad... I lost him and it's my falt!

Why I never believed in his love?
Why I speak so much things that hurts him?

Why this distance exist?
He is the only thing that I believed, the only one that I loved! ...and still love!

I have no words to say how I feel in this moment!

Very soon I'll work and only work... I'll can't think in something sad! But now... I just cry!

Nothing...

2011-01-20T00:33:00.001-02:00

Nothing is only nothing...
My hell and my heaven,
my soul and my death,
my breath and my cry,
my whole life and my lost single
moment...

All is nothing without you on my side!

I try to keep...
I try to live...
I try to survive...

Anything can make me feel alive again!

I think if this is real, if this is ilusion, if this is just a crazy dream that I can't wake up...
When you was with me, this was a sweet dream,
Now you left me alone and I can't wake up from this nightmare!

Nothing is nothing...

My dream and my nightmare,
My survive and my swoon,
Everything is nothing without you!

2011-01-18T02:10:00.001-02:00

Today I wanna say about my feelings again...
Sometimes I remember that rain when we walked on the street...

Everytime that moment can't goes from my mind...

So much time, so much love, so long distance...
Sometime I feel dying in this sensations...
I feel like love could kill me so slowly and painfully...
Sometimes I just want you here with me!

I'm trying change my life, be different and accept the destiny...
I feel so impotent, so weak, like this terrible destiny could be too much more stronger than my love or wish to survive in this life... I feel folling down, like a leave falling from tree... Where will fall? It's just wait and the destiny will come soon...

Like in the Mutation book of Iching, in the 38th hexagram, 1 line, where is wrote about a horse, it run, but you can't run after it! Or it will run more and more... But if the horse is yours, it will back to the house!

Not works run after destiny!
The destiny back to you, if is yours...

Water

2011-01-11T15:28:00.001-02:00

This night, before I sleep, I just pray:
Somebody in the heaven, give me an answer at sunrise...

My heart is paining, my inspiration is going down and my hope is missing day by day...
I really need some answer to my heart!

I think so I'm suffering his suffer and mine...

I sleept and dreamed that somebody, a woman, just take her answers speaking with water...
The water was like entity, that she just ask and it answer... Like some alive person...
What means?

Some psychologists said that water is the emotional. And the lake is the sexuality. And the sea, is the not conscient emotional...

What means?

She don't take the water from tap... She take from river... Because was not possible speak with the great water, she takes a trifle...
She simply can't understand without a little bit water... She needed speak with the water!

What means?

Someone answer me!

keeping...

2011-01-09T16:23:00.001-02:00

I'm jus keeping the way, without him...

And I'll keep, day by day by day...
Every single day is so slowly and difficult without him...
Every single coffee that I drink, I think about him and my feeling because I lost him...

Perhaps, when I lookin that eyes again, he open his heart like in the first time?... Maybe I never will know what he has in his soul... If someday he really loved me...

Me feeling is inside me, I'm in pieces!
It's a deep darkness in my soul...

My only hope, is the fact, that for every night, a new sunrise! For every death, a reborn! For every reborn, the evolution!

Words

2011-01-07T20:20:00.001-02:00

My old teacher said someday:
"If you have nothing to say, just be quiet!"

Why I never listen this advice?

In june from last year, I make a mistake that was so much misunderstood...
My impulsivity, my burnning wish to see him again, make me down!

My bad language, my bad expression, my wrong way to say, my impulsivity... Everything cooperates to speak the wrong thing in the wrong moment...

My "retrograd mercury", my bad communication...

I'm so sad because I can't express clearly everything what I think!

In this moment, I just think about my mistakes and how much I love him...
In this sundown, feeling this warm wind, I remember him, and my wish is see him on my side...

The sunrise doesn't come yet... The darkness is deep and scary... But the sun light will come with the reborn and the evolution...

Broken barriers!

2010-12-07T00:50:00.001-02:00

I remember when I was a child, when I don't knew my father, my mom marry again and never told me the truth about my real father...

My whole life, I believe(no reason) that somebody was wating me somewhere in the planet...

My grandmother(mother of my father) never knew me... She try find me about years and years... She never can!

My cousin Carol, told me this history...
She told me that our grandmother show my picture to her and said: "This is Gisele. You don't know her... But even she aren't here, she exist! Find her some day!"

She dies 3 years before I discovery my father and every truth...

Today I conclude that she teached me my best lesson of life: "Love broke all barriers!"

I made a so 'coincident' paralel... My love is in another side of the world...
Some day, some wise soul said me that I need to learn like my life's lesson: "The love broke all barriers!"
In this single moment, everything can make sense on my life, on my destiny, on my way... And everything that I wish is doesn't die before broke all barries by love...

Miracles...

2010-11-25T21:34:00.001-02:00

Every day pass by me, I feel more and more that I love him!

Yesterday I begin a new job! Thank Gods!
It's not a big money, but it's short time!

2 days ago, I gone to the town and decided don't back without job! 40 minutes after, I was hired!

The rain start yesterday, like tears when I miss him... But I was not sad!
Because the rain give life to the flowers, that will be fruits and after, new trees!
My feeling was fine! But I was with that sensation, like he was crying... Maybe just remembering...
I was wishing just that he be fine!

I'm wating for miracles...
I wish him here on my side...
I wish be his family...
I wish understand him completly!

My only wish is that my love be perfect, as like the love is perfect and eternal!

Please, my love, accept me back!

2010-11-21T13:43:00.001-02:00

These days, I was just praying for a little miracle... Or a big miracle!

About money, it's worse day by day...I have work, but people late my payment everytime... Be a freelancer it's not ease!

Some days ago, some one ask me if I want compose music for a big project... I accept, but I don't know if they will accept the demo... I don't finish the melody...

I was thinking about my life these days... Why I stoped to sing?
Was a stupid action from me!

Now I'll try again!

About my love, I decided never give up!
Because I lost my time with another professions, lost my time with a fail relationship for half of my life!
Now, I found the man of my dream, like I dreamed when I was 11 years old...

When I kissed him, was like a dream... Some times, I remember and can't make diference if was real or a good dream!

If he ask me, I'll do everything he wants!
For me, he is like a KING in my life!

For now, I'll just pray for meet him again and say how much I love him!

If he knows...

2010-10-25T12:17:00.003-02:00

How much I tried gatch my dreams, more end more I was far from my objectives!

After I see that dreams are possible, today I can separate my dreams and my objectives!

I really think about my professional dreams realised and my personal dreams realised. One hurt other. What is more important to me? professional or personal?
Bout is not possible!

I understood that to much more important to me, is my love, because this is the unic thing that make me wakeup every morning!
He never knows about this!

I just wanna tell him that I have a deep admiration for everything that he is like person!
I really, really appreciate every inch of his personality, his thoughts, ideas and words!
He never knows how much I love his face, his body and his way to speak... he is sweet and my oly one desire, is hug him and say how much I love him, again!

These days, I lost my hope and needed recover my sanity. Because I can't see way to the problems that I have here and this situation...

I lost a lot of things before he back to his country... but afterI try, by my hard work, recover the way... not possible!
How much I swam, more and more I was far from the beach!
I'm really tired, because I lost to much time trying make everything from my way!
Now, I'll start again and feel the waves leaving me back or to the place that he is and I'll meet him again!

So difficult!
But I'll be more happy a little bit, if he knows how much I love him!...

(picture: Brazillian signal language - I love You!)

Detachment

2010-10-21T16:57:00.002-02:00

In this time, I'm just praying!
I'm praying to the Gods, superior consciences of the universe, ancestors...
I'm burning incense every day and asking for knowledge, light to my mind!

The last weekends was very hard to me!
I was just trying undestand my emotional actions!

I understood about the suffering...
How much times I try cut conections?
...and I tried again! Stupid thing!

How much times I tried replace my feelings or suffocate my love?
...and I tried again!

detachment it's not cut conections! Detachment is accept the reality! It's detach my egoiste desires! Cut my attachment to my limitated reality!

The true reality it's not limitated!
It's a INFINITE POSSIBILITIES FIELD!
How I can see this truth?
Detaching from my limitated egoiste desires, that make me blind to the true reality!

Maybe seems simple... but we are so tied in ourselfs and so addicts in our internal desires, that we prefer don't see...

But I want to see! And I'll make an effort to see what is tying in myself!

Sometimes I almost lost my hope... But I'll be stronger, day by day!

I hope my ancestors and the divine consciences, help me soon!

Saudade

2010-10-03T23:00:00.001-03:00

Saudade is a word that don't exist in english...
Means "I miss you"... But it's not just this, means a feeling when I miss somebody!

Saudade is a feeling like love, passion or anger. It's when you feel a deeply sensation of loss... It's like a big and deep hole in your heart!

It's like I feel now!
I feel "saudade" from him!
I wanna cry, but I just try don't cry, because he is so far...
Why I can't forget him? Why I can't leave him?

My heart is burning with a lot of feelings!
I can't cry... I can't smile...
He is my bless and my danm... My hell and my heaven!

Some times I think: I'll date, find somebody...
Bullshit!
It's impossible!

I try again and again, time after time, forget him... and I give up!

Now, I love just for love... Because he anger me... Maybe was my falt... Maybe I never will know the truth... Maybe he never will know how much I love him!

Wile the time pass by me, pass before my eyes, I miss him, day by day... My "saudade" is growing up until the infinite of universe!

I try don't worry, because the destiny will back to my hands again!

Crossing Jordan

2010-09-12T00:20:00.002-03:00

Yesterday I was going to the work, acrossing the "Redenção" park...
I saw this beautiful place, that I realy like, and think about the love of my life...
I know that he likes natural places, like me... Think about my spiritual evolution and how much he is important to this matter, was realy inevitable!

I conclude that:
Portuguese is difficult
Spanish is difficult
Japanese is difficult
And...
English is difficult, too!

I conclude that
Cellphone is expansive
Msn is bored
Skype can be good, but
The timezone never will help us!

Looking through internet seems easy across the Jordan river... But we have, before our face, the Red Sea!

I'll never give up, to pray, day by day, to the oceans opening before my eyes!

Maybe he don't understand me or don't believe me...
But I'll keep my way and never give up to across the Jordan river, Red sea or every oceans, because my love is stronger enough to across every barrier the come to my way!

When begin?

2010-09-04T00:10:00.001-03:00

Today I was watching an old drama. This drama I watched the 1st time when I was just 11 years old...
This little fact make me remamber my childhood time, when I dreamed so much things, that today I see realesed a little bit...

When I remember my old dreams, and my actual dreams, I see that my feeling is the same...

For a time, maybe some years, I just quit my dreams, because I understood my dream was impossible...
After a lot of time, I conclude that I was wrong!

I knew a prince that don't likes me anymore... In truth, now he hates me!
But he makes me wake up for my life, and because this I'm greatfull for the heaven put his life on my way!
I realy know that he never will know how much I love him... I know that he don't believe me... But I say thanks because he exist!

Today I have a lot of emotions inside my heart... And I can't explain!
So much more I look arround me, and so much more I see that he is far from me...
He was my old dream and the future that I wish!
When I don't know him, was him that I dreamed... I just discovery when I knew him... Before I think that was impossible!

My another dreams was linked with my so deeply ans ward emotion that I feel when I was 11 years old...

Nothing changes! The destiny back!

Sick...

2010-08-30T12:53:00.002-03:00

Well...
After a lot of days, so sick, I'm better...

It was a stronger flu, that make me down 1 week!
Now, my face is like a ghost! so white!!! But today, I'm ok!

In this moment I'm thinking about my life, about feelings... again!
Today I feel like in old times, but it's like is new, not like before...

I'm learning about culture from another side of the world... and I discovery something very very intersting, that explain another things to me...
Yesterday I read in a blog, that if some woman, in Japan, works in a company and she wants marry with a mate, she needs QUITE the job!
This is so unfair!!!!!

If this happen with me and the boss say: you need quite!
I answer: You first!!

oh god! I don't like this!!! but, this is them culture... so bad before my eyes, but something in Brazil is not acceptble to!

Try understand the culture is very very important to tolerance between nations, cultures and people!

Well... think about this!

keeping on my way

2010-08-21T21:54:00.002-03:00

This time I think a lot about my life...
I examinate my love and try quit... I tryed again and... I can't!

What is better? Love and suffer or try don't love and suffer?
... I realy don't know!

In this time, when I don't have some motive to love, but my heart just feel this conetion, I keep on my way, like ever...

old and new...

2010-08-06T12:16:00.000-03:00

I'm happy! the last weekend I meet my old friend and my new best friend!
This feeling, nobody can pay!
Thank you for trust me!

Screaming

2010-07-02T20:55:00.003-03:00

Today, it's like my spirit and my soul could scream...

Was like the beginning of love, when I was resisting my heart, just speaking that I don't love you...
But in every word that you speak, you arrest me more and more, so softly, so slowly...

When I see you in the first time, I fell afraid, scare, so stronger feeling, that, untill today, I can't explain...

When I see you in the last time, was like my world falling down... my floor not was there anymore...

When you speak that you can't trust me... for me, was worse than death!
You don't broke my heart, you destroyed my soul!

But I wanna remember the good times!
Remember when you hold my hand... or when I hold your hand... or some so warm kiss...

Don't have day, don't have moment that I don't remember you! I remember every detail, like a crazyness... I try forget, I try don't remember... I try hate you!
It's not possible, I can't...
It's like kill some part from myself...

You took my heart forever... you are a thief! Yes! you stole my heart forever...

Today my heart and my soul are screaming... Screaming that I miss you, because I love you deeply!

Give me this chance! We can make different!

My snake... She shine!

2010-06-24T18:44:00.002-03:00

This is the life...

2010-06-22T13:25:00.002-03:00

Nobody can undertend or measure my feeling in this time...
Nobody can measure my pain in this week...

I think so, my feeling in this week was the worse since final of 2008!

I'm trying be happy again, because I have a lot of victories this time!
But I can't share it with you anymore...

My impulse, my emotional way make me try something that is not possible!
You never will come to me again, you acrossed the world one time... I know you can't now... and this is my falt! I remember my mistake day by day...

Realy... I'm trying go to you!
Move the montains and across the sea is very difficult... Day by day is to much more far from me... like the waves living me way from the coast...
If I keep, it's because I still love you... Not the oposite!

I realy want hope again and want discovery the infinite inside my soul, that is able to make the impossible for the love!
I realy want discovery my infinite way inside my soul!

The Darhma is your legacy in this life!
Finnaly, I can discovery mine... Because my karhma I just know...

Everything is connected and I believe that we are connected, too!

Sorry, but I still can't understand your anger...because I lost to much than you! And you know that!
If I'm rational, I'll be not just anger...
In oposition of this actitude, I'm looking for the infinite from my soul... Because I can't see rational explanation for that I can't see with my human eyes! It's not visible... not explainable...

If you have rational explanation for this, please tell me! I wanna know!

feel so alone...

2010-06-04T13:15:00.002-03:00

This week was amazing!
To much work, but to much victories!

I'm happy because now, I'm working with good people!

But this don't make sense if you don't remember me anymore...

I can't send e-mails everytime, but my love never changes!
I'm working so much... and don't have day, hour, minute, second or some single moment that I don't think that I love you...

My heart pressed because I love you... and... you don't love me... worse: you don't don't speak to me anymore!...

I wanna scream, I wanna cry, I wanna see you again...
But you never will read this... like another times... You never will know how much I love you...

Just feeling...

2010-05-27T19:00:00.002-03:00

Who read my things?
You read???!!!

Maybe some people, not to much people... I think so is good!
Or not...

Today was a very hard day... 2 jobs is hard!

But I listen something intersting today!
The wind head, maybe, don't read now...
But if he read, He will remember when I speak to him:
[I wanna be your dream catcher!]

Today I just speak:
[Cast your eyes on the ocean

Cast your soul to the sea

When the dark night seems endless

Please remember me - Dante's Prayer, Loreeenna Mckennitt]

How?

2010-05-23T00:37:00.000-03:00

I ask to myself... How somebody can think about another person every time?

I really ask how I can think about you everytime...
This is not normal...

Well... I'm crazy!

You just need know that I worry about you, because you are important to me!...

My King

2010-05-22T00:09:00.002-03:00

The King have every righs is his kindom...
The King is supreme in his kindom...
The king is the great Lord in his kindom...
The King have every power is his kindom...

My heart is your kindom because you have every rights of my heart and all supremacy!
You are the powerfull lord of my love!
My love is truly yours!

almost sleeping...

2010-05-17T23:18:00.002-03:00

Almost sleeping and thinking about you...

Every night is the same... Think about you, worry about you... After I sleep...

Maybe you don´t believe me... Maybe you don´t love me... But I love you without hope...

I´m almost sleeping now... Just thinking about you like a fool...

new toy!!!

2010-05-16T20:32:00.003-03:00

this post is by my new hiphone ... New toy. I think so... Hahaha

Look my kid´s face!!! (laughs)

I'm honding your hand!

2010-05-03T10:27:00.002-03:00

I feel you every time... It's like you are on my side all the time!

I wanna be on your side all the time too!
I miss you...

This conection is so good... and so bad, sometimes! because, I wanna be on your side, not just by my mind or spirit... I wanna be on your side physically, too.

I'm working every day, just thinking about you, worried with you, because my wish is take care you!
I'm working, because I have an objective: across the world and reach you!

You can't imagine, how much I love you!

I don't have fantasies with you, because you real to me!
And my meet with you, will be real, too!
the matter is the time... and distance...
I need time to take money for across the world. This is expansive.

Sorry, because, sometimes I can't understand your language... I'm making an effort to learn!
But when I can't understand the words, I try understand your feeling without words...

The love language is universal... maybe, I can understand!

Thank you when you call my name! Because I listen!

Just tell me!

2010-04-26T14:36:00.002-03:00

I never know if you are speaking with me...
This is so complicated...

Really, this make me confuse!

I'm sure about my feeling, and about you?!

You speak with another people too... and not with me...
It's so sad.

Just speak to me again!
Send me a e-mail, call me... Give me a signal!

The warm feeling, please tell me.

Please, speak to me again!

I'm working for go to you again... Yes! I'm working for across the world!
Just believe me!

I need you...

2010-04-23T15:51:00.002-03:00

Today, I just want your sholder...
I just want your presence on my side...

I remember when you take my hand, when how much I needed, and was you that was there...

Today I need your voice again, your hand again, just your presence on my side.

Maybe you need my lap like I need yours...

Nothing that I speak can change the situations, or can help deeply...
Nothing that you speak can change my situation, but can give me consolation!

Just remember that I'm here and my spirit is with you every time, every day, forever!
Just remember that I not just love you, I love you deeply and you are my air... the air that I breathe, because without you I can't live!

Passion!

2010-04-20T15:00:00.002-03:00

Sometime ago, I just love him...
The love is so different than passion!

Love you don't feel, you don't decide, you just have!

Like love about children...
No distance, no time, no circunstance... If is your son or daugther, you just love!
It's a stronger conection, no broken!

About him, is the same... I don't feel, I don't decide, I just love him!
I have this conection, no broken!

This mounth I dicovery something...
I'm passionate about him!

I can't think, look, imagine another person...
I'ts like lost my soul!
My unic desire is him! My unic thought is him...

Maybe I'm crazy!

I miss him day by day... and this feeling doesn't not fit in my heart!

I'm crazy! Crazy about you, my handsome Prince!

My Eternal Love

2010-04-14T13:03:00.004-03:00

Let me understend you...
let me know what you fell...
Take my heart and stop my suffering.

I fell the stronger sensation inside me,
I can't stop fell...

This is my sincere words,
My unic pray...
My heart wants your voice like the oceans wants the wind...

The waves needs wind to exist,
and me, I need you for my life make sense...

No oceans, no distance or time can separate you from me,
My love is enough for you and for me!
My love can across the world and move the sea!

Why I don't know you before?
Why I never decide goes to you before?

Just Decide for
See you again or beggin the adventure trought the sea...

The eternal love,
don't have anding or beggining,
it's just love,
forever end ever singing...

It's like a song,
that make you strong
that arrives so long...

Writer: Gisele
To: The Prince

Just one day more...

2010-04-08T14:34:00.002-03:00

Today not was a good morning...

In this difficult days, my wish is just talk to you... Just listen your voice and calm my soul...

Your presence is my medicine...
I don't DREAM go to you, because I'll do it!

My life without your presence is a cold and sad lake where my heart is...

Today I'm not sentimental, I'm just in a bad day and you are not here for give me your sholder...

Rainbow: The heaven bridge between us!

2010-04-06T14:08:00.004-03:00

This morning was so cold, raining a little bit...
and I look the sky...

The rainbow! Was complete, so beautiful in the sky, like a bridge conecting us!

I was in the bus, looking to the sky with my kids!

When I arrive in the children school, I take a picture with my old celphone!

That rainbow make me wish be with you... was like a signal!
So beautiful!

The heaven bridge between us!

Food!

2010-04-05T18:07:00.004-03:00

I cook in the last weekend! Nice Holy-Day(s)!(lol)

In the friday, I made a good japanese cook!
My friend Birawo told me how to do! I really doesn't was trusting... But this food is very good!
The name is: "nikijaga"
(Seems "Mick Jagger"! hahaha)

In the saturday, I made "franch omellet"... Huuummm... "délicieaux!"
My friend Lilith was there for visit me and eat my food!

In the sunday I made American Pancakes!(waffle)
Was delicious, but I don't have pictures!

in the market

2010-04-01T19:18:00.000-03:00

Street market buying vegetables! Nice nigth!

holyday

2010-04-01T18:49:00.000-03:00

Just working...
Nice weekend!

Just speaking...

2010-03-31T18:13:00.002-03:00

I'm so much tired, because I'm working a lot...
Sometimes I think that I'll explode...!

So much stress, but I can do it!

I hope be fine this weekend, because is the christian Easter!... I'm not christian, but the holyday is good!(lol)
This weekend I'll help my friend Lili... She needs somebody for speak and cry... I think so, this is a girl thing! and... the friend thing too!

Sometimes I need somebody to cry, because the life is not easy, right!?
Children, former husband(this is the worse thing!), the boss in the job, the house to clean and cook... Oh yes, the prince that don't speak with me...

Sometimes I just want a lap to cry... I think so, it's natural thing!

Today I wanted shut somebody! I was stressed! But, it's ok! I can control... Maybe I just need to sleep...
Today I don't have a beautiful thing for speak, because I'm running in my job!

I have something beautiful to speak: I love him yet! Yes... My air, my soul, my sun... him: the Prince!
He give me power to keep, because I need arrive to him again!
I have a lot of problems, trouble, but he keep in my heart like a sun in the sky!
I just love him... and will keep loving him forever and ever!

Birthday

2010-03-29T14:12:00.003-03:00

This saturday was my birthday!
My best friends made me a dinner! and made me happy!

My friends in MIXI and Orkut sent me beautiful messages!
Thanks for the fans, too! They sent me a lot of messages in Orkut!

I can't answer everybody! Was a lot of people!

I'm really happy about so much people that sent messages!
I don't know a lot of people, that are my fans!

Really thank you!

Just 1 thing I don't like...
My prince don't was with me... mmm (T____T)

Wind... wind...

2010-03-22T11:20:00.002-03:00

I love the wind...
The fresh wind that blows in my face...

Do you remember?
When my warm felling touch your heart?...
Your wind, so lovely wind, touch my face when I was in my window, just dreaming about you... I remember it...

Now, remember how much I love you! How much my heart beats when I think about you!

The prince of my dreams, you are!
My air, my soul, my spirit...

I wanna touch you, I wanna cross the world, making a revolution because using my love for you!

Wind, blow in my face again!

You've got a Mail

2010-03-18T13:42:00.002-03:00

This is my favorite movie:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0128853/

Just take a look!

This is my sugestion for this weekend!

Have fun!

I hear your voice, it's like an angel sighing...

2010-03-09T18:05:00.002-03:00

This music is Perfect!

Look:
..."In the midnight hour, I can feel your
Power. Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there..."

Marry me!

2010-03-08T22:45:00.002-03:00

You dreamed about Fair Tales when you was a child?
I dreamed... but I killed this dreams very fast in my life!...
My life was difficult... But this is not a problem now!

During a long long time, I was living just for survive, without dreams...

Now, maybe I found a handsome and sweet Prince... But nobody is perfect and he is not perfect... for another people he is not perfect(maybe)! For me he is perfect, sweet and lovely!

This last week, I decided ask to him: "Marry me!"
By internet messages, subliminal recalls, like a love game...
But my love is not a game! This question is not a game! It's my deep truly feeling!

Marry Me! Because I can't live without your voice!
I can't breath without you! I can't dream and realese without you!
Love you, winds head!

Infinit Possibilities Field

2010-02-10T19:04:00.003-02:00

"Infinit Possibilities Field", This sentence, my friend speak everytime!

Do You can believe? Do you can don't see limit?

The universe(cosmos) don't have limit! Why sometimes, we like put limits in the universe of possibilities?
If you want infinit possibilities, we need believe that unlimited oportunities we have!

I can't see limit in my life, my feelings or my thoughts!
Everything is energy!
I understend that THOUGHTS move energy!
If my thoughts move energy, my thounghts can change the universe and can change my destiny!

When we believe that oportunities will come by somewhere that I can't imagine, just moving my thoughts to my wish, without limit, without closed oportunities, just waiting the energies come truth, slowly and gently materialize... In this moment I'm in the "Infinit Possibilities Field"!

Phylosophy? No!
Conviction and faith!
This is my name's mean, right?!

Do You can believe?

Screaming!

2010-02-07T23:02:00.003-02:00

Sometimes, I just wanna scream your name!

Scream, because I love you! Scream because you are my life!
I just want scream, that you are my reason to keep dreaming!
Because when I dream, I realese...

How much times I need kill my dreams?

I come for this life for prove that love is possible...
In the LOVE's power I can pass over my barriers forever!

If I come to this life, it's because this is possible!

Please believe me and wait me! Across the world is not easy...

You are feeling...

2010-01-25T02:59:00.002-02:00

I know how much your feeling is overpowering...
I know how much this is fearfull...

To love is fearfull, overly uncontrollble!

The lack of control make a noise inside of your soul! An uncontrollble noise...
Sometimes, this noise, make your heart pain... Like in my heart!

When your soul is uncontrollble passionated, you want run... just run for some place that you don't know where!
It's more rational use the brain... But this is not easy AND... this is not right!
You need, not fight like a worrior, but you need accept that this feeling exist! To resist this feeling is useless and make you suffer so much more!

You have feelings, winds head! Just accept!
Accept and don't run anymore!
And...
The destiny will take care the destiny!

See you again soon!

I'll fight for you!

2010-01-23T18:00:00.002-02:00

Maybe you don't want be separated from me... Me too!
Something is main in my life: meet you again!

Like I was a child, dreaming in my window, calling my encharmed prince through the wind, I believe now...
Everything that I want is see you, hug you, kiss you...

What I'll make with my feeling? What I'll live without you?
You are my inspiration, my air and my wind... My dream, my life and my spirit!
You has, not just my heart, you has my soul!

I feel myself so ridiculous... My romanticism is ridiculous!
I'm not happy, because you make me romantic!

Love you make me live and die in the same moment...
Make me happy, because you are sweet... and sad, because you are far...

I want your warm kiss again... your arms holding my body again...

Don't leave me! I need you, because you has my soul!

My sadness!

2010-01-13T23:21:00.002-02:00

Today I'm sad without explanation...

I think so I'm sad, because I'm miss you...

I'm a ridiculous romantic woman!!!
I hate me because this!

If you are romantic, you will suffer!
Yes! i'm suffering!

So much more riculous, because you don't love me!
I just love you, but you never love me...

You like me, are confuse, change your feeling...
But My feeling never will change!

yes! I'll suffer forever! Because my romantic condition don't have cure!

I want feel your wind in my face again...
I want believe, but my faith is so down...
I want feel you again...

I think so I never will stop love you...

I don't care anymore!

The winner takes it all!

2010-01-12T16:52:00.002-02:00

Now, I'm in the last level!
And I'll take every all!

No! You are not normal!

2010-01-08T18:28:00.002-02:00

You are not normal and want me CRAZY like you...
You are not satisfied, because I'm crazy about you?!?

Please! Tell me: what you want!?
You are making me crazy more and more, day by day!

I can't understend your games!
In your game, I can't understend your objectives!
You love me?

How much I need fight for you?
How much I need speak "I love you"?

You can't understend that I'm yours!?
You can't understend that I'm crazy about you?

You make me cry for no reason!

No! You are not normal!
Mabe you can't forget me and you are crazy about me, too!
No, no!... You are not normal!

Last day in the beach!

2010-01-05T02:54:00.007-02:00

Here pictures about the last day in the beach!

I was in "Balneário Camboriú - Santa Catarina".

The 3th january was hot...!

This place is very very beautiful and I hope you like this images!

Now... I'm home! ... Again! (^_^)

Fire works & New year!

2010-01-02T11:20:00.005-02:00

My New Year party was a traditional brazilian party for new year:
Home, family and grape fruit...
We was is the hight building from our friend "Mah"!
This is just 3 pictures about my new year!

In the beach!

2009-12-26T17:24:00.004-02:00

Hi!

Here, pictures about my travel to the beach!

In the bus travel, the ways was congested! But the vision was beautiful!

My children was in the bus party! (laughs)

And...

The hot beach!!! Today was very very very hot!!!

Christmas

2009-12-21T02:31:00.002-02:00

Here, in Brazil, nobody work in Christmas time... and the new year fest, too!

I'm running with my job, because I have 2 projects for write desperately, before Christmas!...

My mom invite me to her house, that is in Balneário Camboriú. My mom lives 2 blocks from the beach! I'ts a beautiful place!
She wants me there, with my children, in the Christmas until January 4th!

I have just 3 days for the travel!... I'm running in my job and I'm worried, because I need make to much things before!

I promise send a lot of pictures for the readers! (^_^)
I'll send news in MIXI diary, too!

Well... Merry Chritmas and a Happy New Year!

You are my sunlight!

2009-12-17T03:37:00.002-02:00

You are my sunlight, my wind, my air... my breathing...
Now I can't live without you!
Now I can't live if I don't dream with you in the night... or in the day...
I think about you inthe day, in the night, in this moment, before and after...
I love you today... tonight, Now, in the past and in the future...
I'll be with you... and you will be with me...
Please "stand by me"!

Believe me!

2009-12-11T22:56:00.002-02:00

Please believe me!
Please say something!
Your silence makes me suffering!

I never lie to you!
The bridges is oppening...
I'm working for this!

I don't want pass through by this again...
Please believe me, I need win everything through by love!
I hurt you and you hurt me too day by day, with your silence, with your lies...

I try very many times forget you... but I can't!

Please believe me... I love you.

I love you!

2009-11-28T13:53:00.002-02:00

Some times, I can't express my feelings very well...
To much times I speak bad things instead "I love you"...
So sorry about my attitudes... I'm so stupid!

I just want say "I love you"! because my feeling is sincere!
The truth is simple: I love you! I can't live without you!
All along I try don't speak about this... Try hide my true feeling!
But I discovery that I can't!
My feeling is to big and can't be hide!

Just one more time:

I love You!

I hate be romantic!

2009-11-26T04:42:00.004-02:00

Yes!
I hate my romantic heart!

I'm so stupid, ridiculous, idiot... !!!

when I'm in love I'm idiot, stupid and jerk!
Yes!
I cursed my love! I swear every time! I'm a idiot, ridiculous and stupid girl!

If I love him, why I swear him??
He is my prince, my heart, my soul, my life!
I love him with my life!
But I cursed every time!

I hate me!

Take a look in my stupid happy face in the town ...

Prince of Flowers!

2009-11-02T21:59:00.003-02:00

Do you know the Thumbelina's story? Or Princess Thumb's story?

Well, this is a beautiful story about a little princess that love the little Prince of Flowers, Cornellius.
She is away of her love a very big time and after she met him!

Sometimes I feel this about my love...
Because he is my prince, my life and my soul!... and we are away... we are far!
But we are together because our spirits are connected!

I love my handsome Prince of Flowers! And I'm his Thumbelina forever!

My falt

2009-10-26T02:09:00.001-02:00

When you will firgive me?
What I need make for you believe me?
What I need make for you forgive me forever?
I feel bad because you don't speak to me...
How much times I stay awake thinking and reminding that night...
How much times I desire your hand holding my hand...

I just miss you and I feel bad because you can't be here and this is my falt...

How much times I cry because I know that is my falt!...

We asked what we do! I decided!

2009-10-25T02:50:00.004-02:00

I made everything and the true love is that begin in myself and complete myself!
This love touch another people, but this love back to your heart!

In this night, when the sky is gray, I'm thinking about my heart and what I feel...

My window was closed, because is raining... But I open and feel that cold wind coming and touch my face...

In this moment I feel my heart receiving relief...

I want cry, but I can't cry...
Just my body is screaming, because the tears can't come!
My whole body is paining...

The wind can't decid what the fire will burn...
The wind is not strong enough to extinguish the fire and in an unsuccessful attempt to extinguish the fire, it will disperse the flames! And everything will catch fire!

The wind feeds the fire and can only put out the fire if the flame is small!

The fire that I have in my heart not is a little flame... always been a controlled big fire and the wind is not strong enough to extinguish it.

Forget!
The desicion is mine, too!

Subliminal

2009-10-18T03:39:00.002-02:00

Yesterday I was reading a music.
Translating...

I realy believe that when we sleep, we can go to other places...
Our subconscious goes in everywhere...
Maybe when we are missing somebody, we goes see this people in our dreams.

I begin pratice this when I was 9 years old...
When I was 11 years old, I wish on my window, saying to the wind: "Send my message to other side of the world and speak to my future love that I need him... And bring him to me!"

I made this to much times, look my sky in the night... feeling the cold wind of winter on my face...

My heart is fire, needs air for burn...
I love my wind that make me happy even he is far to me...

Weak

2009-10-15T15:43:00.002-03:00

Today I feel weak...

I made every necessary for be stronger... but I can't.

I'm afraid, I'm scared, I'm crying...

I'm thinking: What I will make now?

I need be stronger... Because very bad things will happend and I don't know if I will can be able to suport...

My worst nightmare can happend...
I'm not depressive. I'm in trouble, but maybe I'll be worst.
I just need be stronger...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yMWaJwD25A&feature=related

Hard times...

2009-10-15T01:01:00.002-03:00

Today I need power and energy, because tomorrow I need decide my life...

I need be stronger, I need knowledge...

If you are there, please, send me power, send me energy!

Tomorrow I will bury my past... in truth, I will begin bury my past...

I hope be stronger and be victorious!

Stay with me, as I'm with you by spirit and heart!...
I need your protection, your hand holding my hands...
Stay with me, please... stay with me!

Cat, cat...

2009-10-14T00:28:00.003-03:00

What the sound cat make?

My cat make 'Mia~u'...

But maybe your cat make 'Meeww'...

If your cat is japanese will make 'Mya~' or 'Nya~'...

Every country have a cat sounds! This is so interesting!

My cat is black, it have yellow eyes...

But I love another cat too...

And you? Like cats?

Half Drink

2009-10-11T17:31:00.003-03:00

Today, Somebody says me 'half drink'...
But, I tink so, maybe, I need a complete drink!

I'm fighting today...
Fighting because I need peace... I need be happy, I need be stronger...

Maybe I need my half... my heart half, soul half, soul mate...

Maybe I just need a coffee... with my half.

My heart...

2009-10-11T02:31:00.003-03:00

Here, every week I tell about my heart...

On the storm I'm now...
But my heart is burning!

Some times I cried, some moments I just feel everything burning!

Some times I cried by my anger, another times I cried about love...

If somebody make me anger, I don't will think about this...
I just will think about my love, because the fire of my love give me cure, make me warm, make my time be slowdown...

I just will think about you!
About how much is comforting my love for you...
This make me calm again...

Now I know that you can feel!
Please, give me your sholder, your lap, your kindness, your sweetness again...
You never know how much I need you! How much I need your words!

Would you feel?

2009-10-10T04:49:00.002-03:00

This night I was in trouble, feeling a terrible sensation, crying...

I cried a rain of tears...
I was so sad this night, needing your warm feeling, your hand holding me...

I just wanted your sholder, your help, your kindness...

I miss your sweetness!

I have to much troubles in my life this night... But I just needed your presence this night...
And I ask for myself: Would you feel my feelings?
Maybe not...
I just want be happy again... I'm suffering because others make me bad things...
I don't want feel anger about this unfortunate people...

I have 4 wonderful friends, that speaking to me, making me calm...
Thanks my darlings! I love you 4ever!

No sugar!

2009-10-05T13:22:00.004-03:00

Hey darlings and dears...

This morning I wake up so happy... go to the kitchen make coffee, (like always)!
I made coffee and see my sugar bowl... where is my sugar? Was no sugar... (T__T)

Oh F*king Sh*t! Coffee without sugar? ECA!(soud of desgosting)
I remember somebody... somebody likes coffee without sugar...

Well... today I drink coffee without sugar... I'm coffee adict...

I'll ask: This is a disease?
I think so: maybe...

Hey... tell me: You have coffee disease? (haha)

Don't suffer!

2009-10-04T23:04:00.003-03:00

"Hey, my love...
Don't suffer!
I don't want you suffering!

My words are so hard, so stronger... but I just love you! It's a simple and difficult feeling!

I never will forget you! You too, Never forget me, please!"
---

This weekend was a great moment to me...
I was learning about real love!

My master is keep waiting for her love... She teach me about this complicated and so simple feeling...

I was listening a music so beautiful...
The name is: Dream catcher - by Olivia

My mind always remembers yasashisa no kakera
mune no naka dakishimete

My heart binded by tears
sasayaka na 一瞬(toki) mo
kanawanai itoshisa wo motometeru

ah hoshi wo kazoete
nemureru you ni
anata ni tsutsumarete

* I wanna be your dream catcher
kokoro no oku sakanai hana wo
itsu no hi ka shinjite
I wanna be your dream catcher
ima hajimete umarekawaru
Fly again x3

My heart never surrenders
kodomo datta koro no
massugu na manazashi wa kawaranai

ah mitsumeru dake de
jishaku no you ni
omoi wo tabaneteku

I wanna be your dream catcher
donna kanashimi ga otozuretemo
mamoritai anata wo
I wanna be your dream catcher
ima hajimete tsuyoku nareru
Fly again

I feel something sneak into me
It surprises me
Opens me

* repeat

Burning in Jealous

2009-09-29T15:13:00.003-03:00

This weekend I was burning in jealous...
I just go to my friends house speak, speak and speak...

My master was speaking about her love, speaking about how much painful is wait him...
For me, wait my love is not painful, but I'm missing him so much... Now I can remember this friday...
I will tell you:
Friday I was drinking my coffee in the shopping... (Mc Coffee always!) That shopping has LIVE music every friday, saturday and sunday...
The music touch me... and said everything that I feel... Not about jealous, but about the sure about my love to him...
The music in that night was a antique music, this is a part of music's translate:

"About the Memories
That I bring in my life
You're the missing
that I like to have
Just so!
I feel you near me
Again ...

I forgot!
Trying to forget you
I Decided!
Want you, for want
I decided to remind you
how much times
that I want remind
No fair to lose..."

Original part of music's translate(in porttuguese!):

"Das lembranças
Que eu trago na vida
Você é a saudade
Que eu gosto de ter
Só assim!
Sinto você bem perto de mim
Outra vez...

Me esqueci!
De tentar te esquecer
Resolvi!
Te querer, por querer
Decidi te lembrar
Quantas vezes
Eu tenha vontade
Sem nada perder..."

Missing...

2009-09-22T14:03:00.002-03:00

Hey people!

I'm missing!
hahaha

...Because I'm working a lot in these days!
But I'm fine!

Tired... but, fine! (^_^)

In this weekend I made a new friend: Ai-chan.
She is my official japanese teacher! hahahaha

I speak to her that my japanese is bad, imature... but she says: Gisele no nihongo wa jouzu!
Means: Gisele's Japanese is fine!

I'm happy! Because:
Watashi wa ii seito!

Make it worth...

2009-09-12T03:38:00.002-03:00

Make worth my sacrifice...
Make worth my love...
Make worth my job...
Make worth my emotion!

Please, make it worth!

My heart rises to the stars in true love,
My mind fly in the wind,
My soul invades the deserts and waters my destiny!

My every emotion, completely apassionated,
With my heart and deeply, inside my spirit
I can move the world
And everything will be revolutionized!

Please, belieave in me
and make it worth!

I miss you!

2009-09-06T00:27:00.002-03:00

I miss you, my wind!
I miss your hurricane in my life! So great, so smooth, so kind...
Like a summer wind, so warm, so gentle, so sweet...

I miss you!
I miss your smile, your eyes, your face, your mouth... in my mouth!
I miss you so closer teasing me and pretending don't love me!

I miss you!
I miss your blow in my face, your poetry...
I miss my heart pulsing, my hand trembling, my blood boiling... because you was with me!

I just miss you...
I miss your hair, your smell, your perfume...
I miss your presence with me, when I needed you was there...

I miss you so much!
I miss you with all my heart, my soul, my mind...
I miss you, because I love you, because I can't live without you!

Don't give up!

2009-08-30T21:49:00.002-03:00

I decide: I will fight!
Never will give up!

To much times I think: I'll give up... You don't love me, You don't desirve...
But I discovery: I desirve! (^o^)/

In this time, not is about you! It's about me! But... this is about you and me, too...
Wird...
It's your dream, but it's my dream...
This situation is like a coin... Two sides! Completely different sides, but just one coin!
If I made good job on my side, I'll made on your side, too!

Means conection!
United and separated in the same time...
This is simple and complicated!

I think so you don't love me, because you think so impossible...
But it's not impossible, just dificult!

My life was so much more difficult!
Don't worry... I'll make a revolution on the world!

(Lo que será, será, demo Watashi wa sekai wo kaeru!)

My pray will touch you!

2009-08-25T05:17:00.002-03:00

Some times I think about you... to much more than I want...

I try stop... I can a time, but after, I can't anymore...

I decide that I'll fight to my dreams!
You teach me this!

Why we are in this life?
I don't know!
Maybe this conection is about past lifes...

The life is a Moebius ring, the destiny goes and back...
I believe that you will back! If not in this life, will be in another...

I'll pray to you... I'll pray and I'll touch your heart, your life!

I don't know if I'll see you again, but I know that our conection is stronger!
I know that when I pray I can touch you!
And when you pray you touch me and give me a strong feeling in that moment!
I feel... And I know: You can feel too!

I'm not worried, but so I pray and touch your heart your life!

No Love!

2009-08-16T17:56:00.002-03:00

This blog is my main trash!
Here I put my human trash, every time!

I'm tense, nervous and sad!
This moment is very dificult to me... It's my Uranus revolution time!

Uranus destroied everything Saturnus make!
On Horoscope Map, at 29 years, is the Uranus revolution! It's a bad time... Because everything you has on your horoscope map, that is governed by Saturnus, is shaken!

On my map, Saturnus governs my 6th house. This house is diary's life, exemple: Home, work... Things that you have in your diary's life.

My whole life was for other people... sacrificies, work for others, donation...
I made everything with pleasure! I suffered with pleasure! Because I undertood that was good!
But I was wrong!

I destroied my life, my feelings, my job and more important: my dreams!
I can destroi everything, be I can't destroi my dreams! Because my dreams are my soul!

I'm realy suffering, because I don't want love anymore!
My unic love are my children!

For them I give my life, my dreams and my soul!
They are my power, my dream and my soul!
For them I'm a lion!

For now... I'm without love... For others!
This moment, My love is mine, by me, to me!

Egypt! and some people no nation...

2009-08-09T22:22:00.003-03:00

Do you know?
I love arabian and egyptian music...
Gypsy Kings are no nation, because they are gypsy! I love Gypsy music, too!
Listen this musics an see the video clips!

Who I love?

2009-07-30T23:16:00.003-03:00

This though make me confuse...
Because I don't want love anymore... no more!

But sometimes I just feel, like somebody, when is falling love...
Some times, I just want somebody with me.... and other times, I want a certain man...

I don't like boyfriends, don't like passions, don't like dreams... I just want be free about every ilusions!
I have 2 feet! One foot is on earth... other is in the air...
My mind fly to the sky, some times... My heart beat so strong some times, when I think about somebody...
I really don't want! But the feeling is strong!

When I try just like other people, just like... I really can't!

Sometimes I think... Maybe I never will see him again... This make me so sad! But my hope recuse to die!

thoughs...

2009-07-28T23:13:00.002-03:00

Today, my thougs just come and goes...
I was thinking about my life and my feelings...
Thinking about love...

Where are the true love?
Outside or inside of my heart?

I was thinking about conections... feeling's conections, spirit conections...

Where are the conection?
In me or you?

I Really don't know!

Please! Tell me what you are feeling... I need know!

Wind... Why you never blow to me anymore?
Maybe you never think about me anymore... Or you think, but never tell me...
Maybe you are shy... Maybe you want forget me...
Maybe you just don't remember anymore about me...

I just want see you happy!
Be happy and maybe, we will see eachother again some day in this life!

Untill there... I just will think without conclusion!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

2009-07-25T01:17:00.002-03:00

To my dear daughter Amanda,
My treasure with blue eyes,
My dear friend when I'm sad...

Happy Birthday, sweet heart!